I’ve been pregnant with expectancy now for well over a year. It’s been an advent experience in that I knew there was to be a new arrival but didn’t know what it would be or when it would be. The mystery of this ‘pregnancy’ has been a promise and a time of preparation for the unknown events that are coming. In reflection, the whole period of time has been a preparation, a deepening, an inner adventure in releasing what has been to receive what is yet to come. In this waiting there is wondering, wisdoming and a new reverence for spiritual openness to the present moment.

I kept receiving subtle promptings to be flexible and honor what came to me; to be discerning and awake to whether or not it was connected to my heart’s path. Day by day, week by week, month by month I continued to nurture the new beginnings that were growing inside my ‘not knowing’ and little by little, the embryo of this new life developed in the darkness of my inner Being. Over time I learned to relax into this process and release my resistance which led to an inner realignment with the mystery. I was finally able to ‘trust the magic’ of the birthing process and appreciate the journey.

In the Christian tradition there’s an Advent season, a promise of new birth to receive the incarnation of divine Love. It prepares us for the mission of Love that’s birthed into our midst as revelation and unconditional acceptance. It’s called Christ-mass or the mission of Love. It’s the embodiment of a higher level of Being, Belonging and Becoming that’s available to all and comes in and through the darkness of our lives. Here there’s an opening to Life’s joys and sorrows, dangers and opportunities. It’s the journey into an expanded awareness that’s able to transcend and include all polarities.

This is not a one time event, but an ongoing process of evolving and enlivening when we become aware of it. It’s both an inner and outer growth experience that requires our participation. To respect this mystery is to make way for all possibilities and potentialities leading to meaning, forgiveness, reverence, joy, peace and aliveness. It’s grounded in the knowing of our not knowing within the depths of our hearts. It directs us to proceed in Life no matter what the dangers. It’s the arrival of a whole new way of Life that connects us to where we’ve come from, where we’re going and why we’re here.

If this all sounds very esoteric it’s because it’s about the inner journey in relation to the outer journey which is called exoteric. The danger in our lives is giving all our attention to the exoteric, outer life, while giving little or no attention to the esoteric, inner life. Over my seven decades of this incarnation I’ve found them to be interconnected. Like you, I’ve been caught in the externals which have been wonderful and terrible. We’ve all been folded, bent, stapled, burned and beaten down by the outer world. It’s part of the human condition. It’s part of learning courage, willingness and appreciation.

On the other hand we’ve also been nurtured, strengthened, healed and raised up by this outer world. This is also part of our learning. The outer reaches of inner space however are connected to a higher vibrational frequency that connects us to our soul’s code and helps us live more fully into our brilliance, beauty, wealth, wisdom and genius that co-authors our destiny. Presence, real soulful Presence with this inner awareness brings a knowing to our not knowing. It brings new beginnings to our endings, joy to our sorrows and peace where there is no peace. True transformation comes from within.

• Reflect on a time when, after a long journey of waiting for a new beginning you suddenly knew it was time to start something new. Realign with this energy to again experience the inner depths of this knowing. Feel the release and newness that came from that moment and the energy that drew you from that moment into the new.
• Remember to remember how your receptivity opened you to the new, how you let go your desires and transformed your awareness because the then became the Now.
• In this advent time of preparation and promise of new beginnings, become aware of your inner guidance system, your heart space, your soul’s code that has your genius imprinted within it. Reflect on your life trajectory, your Presence and ask: ‘What makes me come alive?’ and engage it! Listen deeply and be open to what crosses your path. Feel your way through this passage as your pregnancy gives birth to a new beginning, again and again and again. This is the ever present rhythm of divine Love . . . .

Post Script – I’ll be participating in a training orientation with Denver Hospice over the next two weeks so the Thursday posts may be disrupted and or not published. It will be part of the practice of not knowing. It will also be for me a realignment and research assignment for a future book called ‘Dying to Live.‘ Stay tuned and be receptive to all your new beginnings . . . .It’s an inside job that manifests everywhere.