It sometimes seems like a fantasy to think that what the above quote implies is possible for us as a species. How many mutually enhancing relationships do you have in your day to day life? When you look back on your childhood, do you see relationships that were beneficial and enhancing for you and others? How about with your partner, parents, children, colleagues? Is this simply another pie in the sky dream?
As I look back, forward, and in the now moments I’m surprised at how many mutually enhancing relationships I’ve had. They were and are challenging but even in the difficulties we were able to grow and learn new ways of being with one another. Some of the most difficult and damaging relationships eventually turned out to be renewing, healing, and consciously enhancing.They shifted because we each owned our parts.
One of the things I’ve noticed, as a person who works one-on-one with many people, is our propensity to blame others rather than own our parts in creating the difficulty. It’s so easy to point the finger at him or her rather than recognizing that we usually have a significant part in authoring the situation. Our little ego mind always wants to point beyond itself when it comes to problems and to itself when it comes to solutions.
I was with a coaching client the other day when he had a significant epiphany that allowed him to see with great clarity how he was sabotaging his most significant relationship. We discussed the steps he needed to take and within the next two days had confirmation from three outside sources of his previous blind spot. He was able to share this insight and ownership with his partner and transform the relationship.
The reason this seems so impossible is that we’re blind to our blindness and we’re not interested in seeing what we’re convinced is ‘their‘ problem. We thereby fail at owning the solutions that are in us and the very situations we’re in. Is it any wonder why so many self actualized, highly effective people have coaches, counselors, guides, mentors, and consultants helping them? Mutually enhancing relationships take work.
When we become different inside, it’s reflected in the way life treats us outside. Self change is the necessary pre-requisite for essential change. In non duality, both and, we come to know that everything is interconnected and participatory.
Do you want in focus on ‘What’s Up’ for you at this time, learn to listen generously, create mutual acknowledgement and appreciation? Do want to move beyond where you are and live a more joyful, abundant, and prosperous life? Click on the “Introductory Session” button below and see what I’m offering to the first few of you who want an hour pro bono coaching session. It just might change your life . . . I’m here for You.