Your Angst Is Your Liberation
Decades ago when I was sitting in the Zen tradition I heard Angst is your Liberation as a koan. It didn’t make any sense. It required me to stretch beyond my five senses into a multi-sensory dimension. It took me from a binary dualistic operating system into a ternary non-dualistic system of being, thus transporting me from the common either/or consciousness to a much less common both/and awareness. The more I stepped into this experience, the more height, depth and breath appeared. I began to see how great loss could be transformational.
Being a son of the Church, I began noticing parallels with the teachings of the Christ and the early Church. The practice I discovered here was called ‘kenosis’, a Greek term meaning ‘self emptying.’ This was one of the primary paths of awakening and liberation taught and lived out in the life, death, and new life of the Wisdom Jesus and his followers. It converged with the trans-rational, contemplative and multi-sensory teachings in all deep spiritual traditions. The more I absorbed it, the more I came to know this wisdom and liberation from within.
The ego-centric binary operating system most of humanity still operates within as it’s primary way of processing information is a command/control, sifting/sorting system. It’s connected to the left side of the brain which separates and divides the world into this and that, want/not want, like/not like, good/not good, win/lose, in/out and so on. The intuitive ternary operating system is a non-dual operating system of inclusion. It’s connected to the right side of the brain and sees the world through the lens of wholeness. It’s inter-connective, pattern-creating, participatory and integral. It recognizes polarity while seeing the unity in all apparent opposites.
How many life experiences do you remember that caused you great suffering, loss and angst? What was the process that brought you out of this darkness? What did you have to let go of to let come? Why and how did you finally move beyond the angst? What was the liberation, the newness that came from this journey? How is this in-forming your day to day emotional peaks and valleys presently? What’s the practice you’ve discovered for your ongoing liberation? Does it help knowing this is part of the cosmic birthing process, part of your pathway to peace?
In my many decades of life experience I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped into the deep darkness of angst, alienation, suffering and loss. Sometimes it was almost beyond my ability to cope with the length of time necessary to heal. Yet with every breath, every tear, every cry, every prayer I wasn’t alone even though I didn’t recognize it at the time. The One Ineffable IAM was all ways present; in every breath, every heartache, every difficulty. Finally after emptying enough of the finite ‘i am‘ ego self I thought was me, I woke up to a whole new way of Being, Belonging and Becoming. In my ‘not knowing’, I finally began to ‘know.’
The discover was that the Ineffable IAM, Source of Life, lives inside each of us and we live inside the Source…..Imagine a Holographic Universe in which the Whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts and every part contains the Whole. Imagine every vibration being experienced by everything at some physical, subtle or causal energy level. Imagine letting go the angst in everyday life to let come the liberation of appreciation, inspiration, acceptance, wisdom, reverence, love, joy, and ongoing peaceful presence for yourself and the whole global community. Imagine a whole new way of being, belonging and becoming.
And, as our good friend John Lennon wrote a few moments ago: “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as One.” When we come to know we’re one interconnected part of the One, our Angst becomes our Liberation.
- When you begin each day this week name three experiences you want to appreciate and look for them wherever you find yourself. Notice where you find angst and liberation…….
- Throughout your days remember to be still and know the Infinite ‘IAM’ that’s all ways with you. Feel the subtle and causal energy in your heart/soul. Observe your finite ‘i am’ with all it’s demands and controls. Notice where you find lovingkindness and peaceful presence.
- Once you get familiar with the presence of ‘IAM’, notice how you come and go from this presence and how it’s always here. What’s this moment asking of you? Are you listening from within your deepest Self? What are you intuitively sensing beyond your physical senses?