It’s been said that the two greatest fears are not being enough and not being loved. It’s also been said that the two greatest desires are for growth and meaning. So, are you embracing your enough-ness and your lovingness? Are you growing in ways that fulfill your desires and finding the meaning in life that you want? Take a moment and sit with these questions. Dive deep into your inner Being and search out your fears and desires.
I sense that we’ve all struggled with our fears and desires for most of our lives. When we were young children we were playful, joyful and fearless in so many ways. We moved from one desire to another without missing a beat and grew ‘just because’ without much effort. The meaning we experienced was simply being alive and then, over time, we became fearful. We felt the hurt of the ‘love’ that slapped our hands as well as experiencing the big ‘NO’ again and again. . .
What follows is a short story about overcoming one of my fears of being enough, being loved, growing and finding meaning in my life. I was in one of my graduate programs in a small rather elite and erudite institution that was connected to my desired vocation. It involved writing my first major paper for a professor of notoriety and my issues of enough-ness and meaning.
“Just do it,” he said staring across the room from his chair while chewing on his well worn pipe. “Just do it, it’s the only way. Your anxiety has you stuck. Don’t worry about what I’ll think about you or about the paper or about anything. Just do the assignment, put it on paper and bring it to me. That’s all there is to it. Just do it. We’ll then have another conversation.”
It sounded so simple. I’d worried myself sick trying to produce this first paper. The expectations, the insecurities, the illusions I’d created had brought me to a place where I couldn’t do anything. I was stuck, blocked, unable to move so I’d come to the man whose assignment I was to complete to tell him of my plight and seek his counsel. I now see that this was the first step I needed to take. It was the threshold crossing; the move into and growth beyond my fear. . .
I went home and began my work. The block was gone. I put my fears behind me and wrote beyond them. The paper turned out to be good: not excellent, not poor, just good and that was enough. Many years have passed and my mentor has departed but not his lesson. Now when people who are stuck come to me I simply encourage, support, affirm and believe in them. You are enough. You are loved. You are growing. You have deep meaning. Believe it and Receive it!
So many centuries ago Marcus Aurelius wrote: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” The revoking comes through action, by facing the issue and walking through it one step at a time, one day at a time, one overcoming at a time. It’s a process of growth that brings meaning to you as you participate in it along with enough-ness and lovingness.
- Quiet your mind and breathe deeply into the Soul of your Enough-ness. Feel the Wonder and Essence of the Who that is Truly You beyond all the social conditioning to the contrary. Now connect this awakening to the deep feeling of Lovingness that is You. Wrap your arms around yourself and Embrace this inner Truth. Experience this Growth and new Meaning deeply and daily: I Am Enough. I Am Loved. I Am Appreciating. I Am full of Meaning. Yes, Yes, Yes . . .