I had a conversation with an old friend the other day. He’s a retired attorney and banker as well as a recovering alcoholic. His primary job now is sponsoring and mentoring other recovering alcoholics. He has quite a reputation which attracts a lot of requests for mentoring and coaching. The first question he asks a prospective person with great clarity and purpose is: “Are You Teachable?”
He told me that most people answer the question by not answering it. They stumble around, try to deflect the question with their own questions, go into story and basically say “No” without really saying it. He then tells them to find another sponsor because he only works with people who are committed to challenging their old beliefs, becoming a new person, and learning everything they can to do the work of staying sober and living the life they were created to live. I was impressed.
I also see a lot of people who claim they want to change. I’m not as blunt and bold as my friend but I’m getting there. I’m getting over the training I received to coddle those who come injured and in need of help. My compassion is getting tougher as I’ve had to face my own dragons. I, like my friend, no longer want to do another persons ‘work’ for them. They, you, each of us have to make that decision and commit to a program for ourselves. No one can do it for us. We have to be committed to our own inner shifts. . .
“Are You Teachable?” is a challenge and an invitation to grow and change. It’s a statement of “Help is here for you as long as You are here for you.” No one can teach you anything without You. Somehow, many of us learned to be a victim. Victims create perpetrators who create victims who create more victims who . . . and the cycle only stops when we begin to own our part in all circumstances. Being teachable says we own 100% of the response-ability for our own lives. We commit to live into our greatness and be accountable to ourselves, each other and our Higher Power.
What does this mean? It means No Excuses . . . It also means learning how to love the whole of ourselves so we can let go of our fear. Have you ever heard that Love is Letting Go of Fear? This love is unconditional. It embraces all your gold and all your gunk. It’s a Divine Love that lives in your Highest Self and flows in, among, around, and through us all. It’s the Divine Intelligence that grows our fingernails and everything else. It’s that which makes the impossible possible, that which makes us Whole . . .
When you know that everyone and everything around you is your teacher, you stop being a victim and become an owner of your own unique destiny. You become a conscious part of the Whole and act accordingly. You become teachable. Your mindset changes and you begin to see again with the eyes of a child. Your fixed mindset begins to melt. You awaken to the wisdom of knowing you don’t know and the joy of learning.
Relax, slow down, let come something new. Take a good look at You. Honestly listen to your words, your thoughts, your judgements, your energy. “Are you teachable?” Hmm.